Attacked by Client then Accused by Client???NEW by: malemasseur
I was working in a Gay Resort & operated a completely professional non-sexual service & I made that super clear to all my clients BEFORE treatment so they knew exactly where I stood.
I built up a very good reputation which still holds true today.
In my last year an American client booked in a session. By this time I was much more comfortable with my own body therefore more than happy to give the choice of being draped or not to my clients. Most refused draping & loved the massage.
This client also refused. I performed the massage & checked in with him along the way that he was comfortable. All seemed fine.
I finished on his scalp then asked how he felt.
"Is that it?'He said angrily
I was shocked then he jumped off the table & started screaming at me. Waving his hands he said. "You work in a f***cin Gay Resort if you weren't gonna jerk me off why didn't you just drape me!!!!"
He launched himself towards me but hit his hip on my table.
I reminded him that I provided the draping & he refused. This made him worse & then started screaming 'Why did you massage my butt then!!!"
I stated that he shouldn't make assumptions about my work & that it was illegal in my country to offer more.
This went on an on so I called the police & made a report.
I was told by fellow guests that massage therapists in gay resorts generally do offer a sexual service hence the expectation.
"Not here!" I said.
I made sure the guest knew I had reported to them to the police.
Ii had no idea at that time that I was considered a hooker because I worked in a Gay Resort!
Paradoxically a year later due to the same 'hooker' assumption I was then falsely accused of providing a massage with a 'sexual undertone' that apparently completely destroyed the gay couples holiday!
This particular couple asked for discounts/refunds/upgrades etc PRIOR to all of this so luckily for me management supported me because they knew these accusations were fuelled by money & an outlet for obvious holes in their relationship.
My experience tells me you are damned if you do and damned of you don't.
Either way you cannot control peoples interpretations/assumption/expectations or irresponsibilities to you or themselves.
Both situations involved highly irresponsible clients...I've done nothing wrong & I'd say most people on this site are hard working honest individuals.
Prevention is better than cure.
Since both events ALL clients sign a waiver that reads like the bible. I start with 'Your safetly & privacy are paramount..' I also ask them at the beginning/middle & close to the end to agree to (& sign to) say 'the word' "ok" if their is anything I do to unintentionally cause you any discomfort for what ever reason. Also if there is anything I can do to increase & maintain your sense of privacy...'
Do what you can to indicate to the client I AM NOT AN OPTION TO BE FALSELY ACCUSED OF WILL TOLERATE BEING FALSELY ACCUSED OF... you'll find a way that feels cool for both of you
Dec 22, 2009 Rating
a woman massage client's point of viewNEW by: Elaine
Hello,
I pop in here from time to time to see how the discourse is progressing, because as a woman client of a male MT I find this subject of gender in massage very interesting. (By the way: I'm "over" my MT and have found a very nice boyfriend, for anyone who's interested in that particular soap opera...:-)
My personal opinion is that, just like it's nobody's business whether my doctor or my lawyer is gay or straight, it's also not mine or anybody else's business whether my MT is gay or straight. How can this possibly be relevant?
If I see an ad by an MT claiming to be gay, and marketing to gay men, I automatically assume the MT is selling some sort of sexual services.
The sexual orientation of an MT shouldn't make any difference to the quality of the work. And if the MT himself markets himself as gay (or straight, bi, or from the moon), that in itself raises a red flag to me.
I'd skip any mention of sexual orientation in the ad if you want legitimate clients, male or female.
Dec 20, 2009 Rating
A few clarificationsNEW by: Disappointed
Just wanted to clear a few things up. I've always been very clear about what I do, how I dress, and proper draping all the time. As most of you have probably experienced, there's always some that think that they can still get you to do something extra for them.
Gay people come from all classes (rich/poor, all races and nationalities). Regardless of orientation, we all feel pain. Pain is not just physical ailments, but sometimes its stress, which causes lack of sleep. I'm not going to turn a client away because their ailment isn't serious enough for me.
I chose to market to gay men because most are comfortable with their body and having another man work on them. I also know that many gay people prefer to be worked on by another gay person (its just easier to talk freely, without worrying about being judged).
Choosing to target the gay market is not a sexual thing (so try to get those thoughts out of your head). Professionalism is always kept during all stages. The difference that I've experienced though, is in an effort to avoid accusations of sexual harassment from women, I have to deal with clients that are more sexually forward.
Dec 20, 2009 Rating
The right niche marketNEW by: -- Hans Albert Quistorff, LMP Antalgic Posture Pain Specialist
You want to help people with pain. Marketing to male, female, gay, straight; is not niche marketing; it is class marketing.
Pain niche marketing is: Pain from dancing, Pain from sports, Pain from accidents, Pain from repetitive use.
Go back to your own story; You had pain, You got relief. Market yourself to people that have pain like you had; you understand that pain, you know how to deal with it.
A chiropractic office is a good place to start. That is what I did. read the story at: Han's Story
Male massage therapists do best as specialists.
--
Hans Albert Quistorff, LMP
Antalgic Posture Pain Specialist
Dec 19, 2009 Rating
making it..NEW by: Raul
Well all i can say is, if you do what you know to do as far as proper draping, communication, and being professional..even more professional than your typical female therapist who half the time is not professional really..then you can really just focus on doing your work, which is massage. I used to worry a lot, so much that it held me back even making me not confident about being a male lmt. I have learned that if i do my best to be professional and show that in every thing i do(draping, communicating techniques ill use, keeping the client engaged in the healing process) then i can focus my efforts on doing good massage and bodywork.
Just my two cents, btw i work at a chiropractor clinic part time and have really just been working on having clear communication,oh and proper drapinghelps out so much.
